Apr 27, 2010

Citizens outraged. Illegal immigration is now illegal.

Just saw the blog o sphere going post traumatic....the "law" in Arizona has people in frenzy. Seems that the rounding up of illegal aliens should not be legal or constitutional. Seems that we should be pleased as punch that illegals are putting a strain on education, welfare, health care, law enforcement et al.

The big issue with the new law is that horrible catch phrase "racial profiling".

RISKY THING TO SAY: I am a victim of profiling, and I, gulp, I see its purpose. It's logical. It's cost effective, but gee, ouch, it hurts peoples' feelings. Therefore, as only in America, we cannot do that which might cause pain.

(Big crescendo of music here, Oprah style)
"and callmedebutante, tell us the voyers, in your own words, how you are a victim of profiling?"

Me: "give me a moment, can we go to a commercial while I catch my breath?"

Dramatic music, camera pulls away

Insert thirty second commercial for some 3g network or Mac vs. pc here.

kinder, gentler music, close up on callmedebutante wiping mascara

Me: "The other day, I was buying some typical everyday justcallmedebutante groceries: milk, eggs, bread, Motrin, chocolate, cheese popcorn, Graeters black raspberry chip ice cream, fudge sauce, marshmallow sauce, and a rag magazine. And do you know what? That store there has a magic machine that has a miniature person in there watching you and thinking real hard thoughts and then in a couple of seconds that miniature person tells the magic coupon machine to spit out a coupon for -gasp-Tampax! Just because I filled out that card with my name and phone number and zip code and HAPPENED to be buying a few items of extreme urgency, does NOT mean I was menstruating. I was a victim of profiling. - Okay, so maybe I was menstruating, but there is no way that miniature person in that magic coupon machine would know that without asking me-"

OPRAH: (reaching her hands to hold callmedebutante's) "A chilling story of how hurtful profiling in America has become. Let's talk to a psychic and a psycho analyst to find out what each of us can do to overcome profiling"
See...Tampax has been profiling me...and so far it is legal. Because, it really does make sense...it is logical, and professional, and effective and efficient and strategic and all things that solid organizations like the makers of Tampax do to stay in business, to make profits so that we can invest in them and retire and pay taxes so that illegal aliens can soak us.

I vote for profiling. I am not against it. And if I can be menstruating AND have my feelings hurt and NOT call Kroger or Tampax people and cry "UNCONSTITUTIONAL" and "OUTRAGEOUS" well, then a couple of legal immigrants, or home grown USA immigrant/behavioral/demographic/psychographic/geographic-a-likes can handle being asked if they are supposed to be here.

Betcha (there I go being Sarah-Palinish) if we gave them a coupon for their troubles it would be just peachy. Course, the coupon couldn't be for tostados or anything profiley, just Tampax.


  1. Debutante, I think this issue is more complex than just "illegal immigrants are illegal."

    Which they are, of course, and I say this as the child of a naturalized citizen who has many stories to tell about how difficult it was to become a citizen in the 1950's. Of course people who are not citizens are an incredible financial burden on our border states. And, as a good progressive, I deplore the terrible conditions in meat packing plants and other industries where the reliance on undocumented workers fosters dangerous working conditions and depressed wages. And and, I think it's outrageous that countries such as Mexico avoid solving their own economic problems by having a large percentage of their GDP derive from remittances from workers (legal and illegal) in the US.

    On the other hand, I'm aware that police in New York City don't want to become an arm of the ICE because they want immigrants to report crimes and cooperate with police, to reduce real crime. In the same vein, allowing undocumented workers to obtain drivers licenses, or purchase private health insurance, actually improves driving conditions and reduces the burdens on our public hospitals. And one has to wonder about the life left behind by people willing to take such risks to come to America to pick strawberries or chop chickens.

    On the other (third?) hand... I refuse to cooperate with data miners if I can possibly avoid it, so we have three households using the same address for our Kroger's card, and we range in age from 18 to 89, which I hope is completely screwing with their computer/profiling brains!

  2. There are legal ways to immigrate. Illegals do place an enormous financial burden on the country but what that doesn't change the fact that they are breaking the law and many times committing other crimes too. If you are coming here to live and make a home, do it thru the proper channels. I don't see giving illegal immigrants driving licenses and health benefits when I'm being taxed to death as the solution.

    What? You didn't think I'd comment once you told me you were here?

    I was hoping you'd get all political : ) I hope you keep writing.

  3. Oh bother. Omit that extra 'what' in line 2. Sorry....grammatical/spelling errors make me twitch.